Sixteen Things That Took Me 50 Years to Learn
Sixteen Things
That Took Me 50 Years to Learn
by Dave Barry
You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe day-light-savings time.
You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.
There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 111.
There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings.”
The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and He decides to deliver a message to humanity, He will NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
You should not confuse your career with your life.
A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
Your friends love you, anyway.
Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and do it.
“Don’t be afraid of death. Be afraid of an unlived life. You don’t have to live forever, You just have to live.” - Tuck Everlasting
Professors
My professors think like this. I know they do, no need to ask them, but it has been based on the advice they have given me. Thanks to Drs H&W for being there for me during times like these. There aren’t enough words that I could say to ever articulate how thankful I am and how much respect that I have for them. I love you guys so much.
A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university Professor.
Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.
Offering his guests coffee, the Prof. went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups: porcelain, plastic, glass, some plain-looking and some expensive and exquisite, telling them to help themselves to hot coffee.
When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the Prof. said “If you noticed, all the nice-looking, expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. That all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the better cups and are eyeing each other’s cups.”
“Now, if Life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, but the quality of Life doesn’t change. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee in it.”
Source: lickystickypickywe
Check it out, right click, save link as. Awesome song by Muse.
requested:
muse - knights of cydonia
Source: todayslyrics
