All I Need To Know I Learned From The X-Files

All I need to know I learned from the X-Files

  • Trust No One
  • Smoking really IS bad
  • Always make back-ups of your important data
  • Don’t eat at restaurants where the motto is “Good People, Good Food”
  • The Truth Is Out There
  • “Nojo on the rojo”
  • Bambi? Her name is Bambi?
  • Sometimes you really do get your $29.95’s worth from a mail-order video
  • Deny Everything
  • If it’s iced tea, it’s love
  • If it’s root beer, it’s fate
  • If you find an audio cassette in your car, 10-to-1 you can’t dance to it.
  • If there’s a white van in your driveway, don’t drink the water.
  • Beware of women named B.J.
  • Don’t pass judgement while in the Arctic
  • Never scan unidentified metals
  • Don’t look for romance on-line
  • Don’t accept dinner invitations from bald, tattooed, half-naked men
  • Make sure you remember the birhtdays of people who are important to you
  • No wardrobe is complete without a New York Knicks T-shirt (holes optional), at least one red speedo, and black silk boxers
  • Sometimes the only thing you can say is “Sure. Fine. Whatever.”
  • Miracles happen
  • Everyone has on uncle who is an amateur magician.
  • Just because someone shot you doesn’t mean they’re not your friend
  • Never, ever, go into a bathroom
  • “Go with it”
  • If you see a cockroach, say hello to the aliens
  • Receiving Superstars of the Superbowl is a good reason to live
  • Sometimes simple answers are good. e.g.” Why is it so dark in here?” “Because the lights aren’t on.”